Stark Naked

Stark Naked offered a quiet escape from the bustling avenue adjacent its doors. The Saturday night we ventured within was a surprisingly slow night for the establishment, us four weary travelers accompanied by perhaps two other patrons and the young lady behind the counter. The interior was black and kitschy, with only the fluorescence of a bright beer cooler penetrating the dark. Most of the seating opinions immediately within the entrance were booths of hard and perpendicular wood, which may offer some insight into the relative dearth of customers. There was additional seating back beyond the counter, but the atmosphere was too dark to make a proper assessment of the space, besides to say that no human noises emanated from it.

Approximately four pies spun, with a quiet buzz, beneath a heat lamp atop the counter, drawing us near not unlike one of those blue lights that attracts and electrocutes insects. But instead of a horrific death, we were treated to a pizza of admirable balance. The crust was thin and agile, but well equipped to handle the pizza attached to it. Grease was present, but not in such a quantity that required a napkin dabbing. Subtle waves of cheese crested to a beautiful light brown, reflecting a conscious attention to quality that is sure to guarantee a fine slice of ‘za. Price wise, Stark Naked is a good value, though if you are in search of a jumbo New York-style slice, you may need to invest in more than one. Unfortunately, issues of size, and of course an absence of orgasmic-quality, prevent us from giving a rating higher than a 3.


Stark Naked Pizza
2835 SE Stark (map)
(503) 459-4450

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